Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
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I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
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I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
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