Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
