Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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