Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
