Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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