either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Just invented taco cereal.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Floor bacon is actually really good
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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