So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
