I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
