So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
You ate ashes out of my bong
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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