If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
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He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
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