Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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