He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
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