You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Randomize
