lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
I yelled at your uterus for you.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Randomize
