I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Randomize
