Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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