dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
