I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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