If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
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