I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Sext me about skeletons
Randomize
