i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
