this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
