How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
