just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
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just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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