remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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