I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
I party with great urgency now.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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