oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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