I am in a vortex of obligation.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
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