k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Randomize