I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
His nipple licking is glorious
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