shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Randomize
