apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
they need to just BURY HIM!
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
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