yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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