eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Randomize
