I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
