Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
not ubering you a puppy
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
