Don't make out with my wife yet
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
