I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Randomize
