Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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