So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
