I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
