I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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