Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
Randomize
