so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
