you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Randomize
