he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize