so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
