btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
it's great music for shaving your balls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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