I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
