Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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