he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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