all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Randomize
